High-maintenance Imaginary Girlfriend


Homecoming
May 20, 2009, 6:48 pm
Filed under: diary

First off, I wasn’t being nosy. I wanted the apartment spotless for Karen’s homecoming, and I always empty Karen’s side of the closet to vacuum the carpet in there. She hates cob webs on her Manolo Blahniks.

But shoved in one of her shoeboxes, I found… the Rejuvenations gift certificate.

Where has Karen been the last two weeks? She couldn’t have gone to the spa without the certificate. I have to pick up Karen at the train station in 30 minutes. What do I say? What will she say?

Is she having… an affair?

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8 Comments so far
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Well, where was she?

Comment by totalblammblamm

She pretended she went to Rejuvenations! Gah! I’m so angry and hurt. What should I do? Part of me says confront her directly. But part of me fears I’ll only get the whole story if I spy on her! Any thoughts?

Comment by writerjoel

Your language says ‘confront’. Trying ‘asking’. Maybe she went to the spa, discovered that she’d forgotten the gift certificate, and she just paid. Don’t spy anymore. That’s so destructive. Don’t go on the defensive either. Just… ask. Give her the certificate, keep it light and non confrontational, and ask for the information. That’s all.

Good luck. I hope it works out.

Comment by totalblammblamm

totalblammblamm,

I know you’re trying to help, but you don’t know Karen like I do. First of all, she never pays for ANYTHING. Even on MY birthday! For her not to mention the gift certificate by now is damning. But, with time, I’m getting a clearer head about this. I think I know what I must do.

Comment by writerjoel

Well, ok, but just bear in mind that your fans can’t afford to bail you out of jail. Good luck and godspeed.

Comment by Totalblammblamm

I think it’s time to put that certificate in an envelope and mail it right to me. Pretty sure the guards will hang on to it for me to use when I get out.

I mean. Pretty sure I’ll be able to use it right away. Yeah. That’s it.

Comment by Totalblammblamm

I kind of think that totalblammblamm is right. Don’t be so confrontational with her. She is just a person. All you can do is ask. What harm could come of it? ( Just don’t be a dick. Not everyone likes a dick.)

Comment by mytwocents

mytwocents,

What’s up with that “dick” comment? Are you referring to my Nemesis, Estoye, and his awful site that skewers me?? I don’t think your comments are given in good faith. So I think I’ll just do the opposite of your suggestion.

Comment by writerjoel




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