High-maintenance Imaginary Girlfriend


Yes, whore, I killed your fern
July 1, 2009, 10:23 pm
Filed under: diary

“Yes, Karen, I forgot to water your fern while you were ‘at Rejuvenations’. Yes, agreed, it’s unforgivable, but it’s not as bad as LYING to you about it. So I confess, that fern in the bedroom is new. I bought it, and tried to pass it off as YOUR fern. But it’s not.”

“Boy it feels good not to lie. Care to try it, Karen? Care to confess anything? No?”

Needless to say, I lasted maybe twenty minutes back at the apartment listening to Karen lecture me about fern maintenance before I had to get out of there. It hurts to even see Karen right now.

“Oh, and where am I going, Karen? Well, since I’m not going to the zoo, let’s just say I’m going to the zoo.”

Boy, I wish I’d said that. Instead, I told her I’m going over to my Sister’s. Thank God my Sister hates Karen, or else Karen would have tried to tag along.

Since I don’t want it to be a lie, I am going to see my Sister. But I wonder… if Skylar wants to join us (please, be busy (C)ass).


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Joel, you totally need to tighten the thumbscrews on this woman! Wave that certificate in her face! VICTORY WILL BE YOURS!!

Wear a cup, too. Just because. Don’t ask silly questions.

Comment by totalblammblamm

Totalblammblamm,

Already ahead of you. I wear a cup to bed most nights. No, seriously.

Comment by writerjoel




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